I’m SO sorry guys. Things have been..ridiculous. All honors classes, first year of high school, a pre-ap class, and debate twice a week has been seriously restricting my time to write. I should be sleeping right now, I have a Lincoln Douglas debate competition tomorrow and I have to get up at six in the morning. I vow to right more though. Honest.

Love you guys!

-Ariell

Living in Colour – Frightened Rabbit.

Such a beautiful line, and an amazing band

There’s a new ABC Family movie called Cyberbu//y that came out today. It’s been generally met by applause from the average 13-17 year old female, who has, “been crying because some people are harassed online.”

I think I may be the only person who could not stand this movie. It shows teenagers as weak, as if we lack the ability to grow a backbone in the face of adversity. Apparently, we are unable to overcome the trials that life will throw at us without the help us dear ol’ Mom.
Now, don’t get me wrong, cyberbullying is a problem in today’s society, but as a teenage girl who HAS been called a slut online, if you feel as though you need to commit suicide after two days of teasing, you’ve obviously never faced any real hardship in your life. It hurts yes, but ODing just because someone you’ve never had a conversation with thinks you’re a whore is so incredibly drastic, that I think it’s silly to expect kids to actually relate to this movie.
If you wanted to inspire young adults, you should have made it so she saw the comments, laughed, and was secure in knowing that SHE DIDN’T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS. Teens should be taught that they don’t need to prove anything to anyone but themselves, not that if you knock a bully down  peg in the cafeteria, they’ll stop being mean to you. Because that simply isn’t true. There’s always going to be a new bitch in town, so instead of trying to make them stop, work towards not caring about what they think.

Besides, a pretty good rule of thumb is, that if it won’t matter in ten years, you probably shouldn’t off yourself over it.

You know that one person in your life, who always makes you feel like crap? The one who you can NEVER please, no matter how hard you try? I used to have a person in my life, and I have just recently cut my ties to them. I thought I would be sad, I thought I would cry, and ask this person to forgive me, just like every time before.

But I didn’t. I have stayed strong. And guess what? I haven’t shed a tear yet. I feel as though I am finally free to be who I am without criticism. No one can tell me to be anything I don’t want to be anymore, and it feels amazing.

Sometimes, we stay friends with people who hurt us, because we think that we need them. It’s the same in abusive relationships, and it is WRONG. If someone is treating you badly, and harming you emotionally or physically, then you need to say goodbye. It takes a lot of courage at first, but once you do it, you’ll be amazed how great it feels.

And after wards, when you look back, you’ll be able to say, “Wow. I don’t miss you at all.”

<3

(Title quote thanks to “Gone Forever” by Three Days Grace.)

The slashes keep getting deeper

Every time she cuts

She tells herself

That the pain helps

That it’s making her better

She’s lying

And she knows it

Because how low are you

When you have to lie to yourself

When you tell yourself you can stop

You ignore the addiction

And spin like a top

Till someone rattles you

Catches you off guard

By caring

Unconditionally

Love heals the broken

Mends the deepest wounds

Because see them or not

We all have patches that aren’t quite done healing

And spots that aren’t through bleeding

Suicide is something you think about when you’re desperate. You’re lost and scared, most of the time you feel alone even when you’re not.  You give up hope, which is the worst thing a person can do. Hope keeps you going, and when you give it up the world crashes around you. You’re left alone standing in the center of a pile of rubble, and every bad thing that happens to you, small or large gets added to that pile.

Until finally you feel as if you’re drowning in your own pain. The “water” covers your head, pulling you under. You keep wishing for someone to come along, and fish you out, but if you want to make it through the pain you have to learn to swim. We don’t all have people we can count on, so we learn to count on ourselves.

The anger is the worse part. We get so sick of being angry, but we can’t shake it. It eats at you, and changes who you are. You don’t like who you become either, you look at yourself and it hurts to see the new you. No one wants to be the sort of person who harms the people they care about. We all wish we could be perfect rays of sunshine, and smile like nothing has ever hurt us.

But that’s the wrong way to think. Without pain, you wouldn’t be who you are today. You wouldn’t be so special and unique, you wouldn’t be the person your friends and family love. So, embrace the pain. Show the world. Don’t ever be afraid to let everyone know you’ve suffered, because we all have. Sometimes, we’re just too afraid to admit it.

I guess I’m not very much like the other children of my generation. The ones who play video games all day and have never read a book. That just isn’t me. Why? Because, when I was scared, and alone, when I lost my best friend, when my parents got divorced, when my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, and when the other kids could do nothing but laugh and point, when they tried so hard to make a mockery of me, I didn’t have a single other person to turn to. So I turned to books.

They are far more forgiving than people. Humans will turn you away when you need a shoulder to cry on, but a book will absorb your tears, year after year. You can fall asleep holding a book in your arms, you can bend it back, tear it’s pages, and stain it, but a book will never, ever leave you. A book will love you forever.

So yes, YA saved me, it shaped me into who I am. But I wasn’t shaped by just the happy books. Books like, “Go Ask Alice,”"Thirteen Reasons Why,” “Skinny,” and, “Crank,” changed me too. But it wasn’t for the worse, because I don’t believe that it’s wrong not to believe that the world is full of sunshine and puppy dogs. It’s being realistic.

BUT, if you can rise from the dirt, and the gore of stories like those, and see that sometimes life doesn’t have a happy ending, maybe, just maybe, you can open your eyes, and find out how to make yourself one We might be young, but we aren’t stupid. We don’t love suffering, but sometimes, the little black part of your heart just longs to find someone who is hurting worse than you are. Sometimes, you just need a friend, and I would never, ever, change or takeaway a book that could be someones savior.

You are not what you see when you look in the mirror. You are not who you hang out with, or what you choose to do. You are not the mistakes you made, not the ones you regret at least. But, you are every time you made someone smile, when they needed it the most. You are every hug you ever gave out, and every kiss you ever shared. You are a combination of all of the love you have ever shown anyone. Friend, or enemy.

You are the way you choose to react when life gets hard. To me, you can only be judged by how many times you smiled, when everyone was trying to knock you down. You can only be truly evaluated by how quickly you dusted yourself off, and kept on living.

Dwelling on the past won’t make it hurt less. Only looking to the future will.

Oh my. I am so bad!

You see, last Thursday was take your kid to work day, and I’ve been meaning to blog about it.So, here it goes –

Some of you know my fabulous Fairy Godmother, Alethea Kontis. Well, she was kind enough to let my sister and I stay home, to learn about being awesome (and a full time writer). I told her I would share with you some of her excellent wisdom:

1. If you turn of the air conditioner to record a story, don’t forget to turn it back on.

2. Always be super friendly to your fans, and they’ll keep coming back for more.

3. Enjoy your coffee. You can write it off on your taxes.

4. Get super dressed up, and go to a container store, and a book store. Because, people will stare, but bad press is better than no press. Or something like that.

5. Smoothies are pretty damn good.

So yes, this was my vast knowledge I felt it was important to share with you guys.

‘Til next time,

Ariell

It’s official. I am the worst blogger ever. I try to make schedules, but honestly, sometimes life gets in the way of writing. It’s annoying, isn’t it? I wish I could stay home all day and write, but that’s never going to happen.

SO I promise to try to write more often, and on some sort of schedule.

Don’t give up on me, kay?

-Ariell <3

Wouldn’t that be nice? If we weren’t defined by what we wear, who we love, our race, and even the way we cut our hair? Wouldn’t it be nice to walk down a hallway without knowing that people are looking at you and thinking, “She must cut herself,” “He must be totally happy because he has a lot of friends,: “She must be smart because she’s Asian,” “He’s gay, so I could never talk to him.”? But realistically, that will never happen.

We will always judge people by the way they look. People will always hate each other before they even talk to each other, because that’s just life. It isn’t even just the “freaks” people think about this way either, because we feel the same way about *you*. We see a pretty girl covering her face in makeup, and think she’s a slut automatically, we see a jock, and think that he must be privileged and happy .

But you know what is much, much worse than that? We think it’s alright to look down on the people who look down on us. What’s scary, is that underneath it all, we’re no better than the people who mock us. Being teased doesn’t make you a good person.And it won’t make you stronger, unless you stop letting it hurt so much.

You’d be surprised to see how much better people will treat you, if you act like you deserve their respect. And if you respect YOURSELF.